Forever Young

Do You Remember the Time....
... it's been so long... and surprising my first entry of the year. i always come back.. usually when too much is on my mind.. that i need to vent and pour my troubles out on blog entries that has claim itself my faithful listener. so much has changed, some mistakes made, new light and new ideas.. life is different now... a little bit quieter.. concentration on a different end.. and i.. have changed.

Heart, Body, Mind and Soul
... it use to be.. i can't wait to fall in love, i live for the idea of love, wanting and waiting.. and then all fades, people change, rearranged.. and can't stay the same. i was sick to death with... falling in and falling out.. half way in.. half way out.. i fought for oh so long and hard.. for wat? for 'us' for 'we'.. no it was all for me.. myself.. and the commitment from an ever ending war to obtain and hold my own obsession.. to be able to have it.. and keep it there... i was blind and blind again and again.. perhaps i will always be blind.. well.. im trying to not make it that way.. .. and then come the bag of rocks that smacked me like i was its bitch... it was one simple idea... the pursuit of happiness... and nothing more than that... and now.. if someone(god or devil) was to ask me wat would u want? and u can only have one.. happiness or love? i would pick.. happiness.. by far. life is short.. chasing after people gets tiring.. and i don't have that much time or patience to make u the center of my world.. and it's the worst when i see myself.. acting the fool.. and picking up these bad habits.. giving u all my time, rearranging my plans to fit urs, come to u at ur beck and call, bend over backwards, let my emotions run wild and take the best of me.. HA... how silly of me.. where's my pride.. let alone my dignity? lesson learned: never chase what doesn't even look back at u... as for now..  i live for happiness, my own.. and no one else.

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To: "You"

- i keep letting u back in... how do i ...explain myself?

- i don't know why ure here.. cuz ure too late...

- i'm tired... and i don't want to be.. ur option

- does it really take u to loose wat u have to know what u had was good?

- u disgust me in so many ways, i can't clean myself away from u

- i should walk away, and probably will, question is.. would u even notice?

- let's see wat happens now... fair warning.

Hello Stranger

it's been a long time..

i don't write anymore, but i must admit, i miss it
so here i am.

:-:Brand New Day. Brand New Life:-:

So for sometime now, i've always said, okay im gonna do this, im gonna do that. and guess what happens? nothing. that's right absolutely NOTHING. and now at the pinnacle of my nothingness. i am finally going to do something about it. perhaps living in the comfortable life is just boring and i realize how much i can't stand it. there's got to be to this life. oh do wish me luck. i'm goin to take a stab at it and see how far this will take me. This girl is now a woman.

:-:Goodbye My Love:-:

This has been one crazy ride. I loved and almost hated every moment. i fought and hung on to everything i could, and in the end, i realize i was in a war all on my own. how ironic. Time makes people change in all sorts and kinds of ways. and perhaps, in the future something good will come out of this. too soon to tell. but i do wish you all the luck and success in life and then some. find and achieve all you have wanted and love like none other. I am in a mix of emotion, bittersweet is what i would call it. and in this moment.. i am happy. i am hurt but satisfied. no regrets just a few disappointments. as much as it was painful to watch u walk away. i know i'll always have u, welcome to a new chapter, my *sigh* friend.

:-:Shame, Shame and a Blame Game:-:

I've known u for so long. and from day one i was there for u. had i known what u would do to "repay" me, i would consider investing a lot less in u. all i've ever wanted was quite simple. u out of all people disappointed me the most. i gave u all i could, help u out in all the ways that i can and then? u do this to me? i can forgive u, and i could just forget all that has happen. but u are making it hard, and i don't have all the patience in the world anymore. u lucked out. u ruined it. maybe u'll regret it. maybe u'll just brush it off like it was nothing. maybe u'll be sorry and consider what a horrible mistake u've made.. but hear me say this, u are too late.

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to all those who stood by me, gave me advice and listen to me.

To you all, i give u my love, my gratitude and my appreciation. Cheers* to this day and moment

so im thinking having this shirt printed. i made the design red. but maybe ill change it.

i wonder if ill be shot and killed for this? haha.

Would U wear it? hehe.